I got a 477 on my MCAT. I disappointed my family and friends, and I became a disgrace to the Bermejo name. I cried for months and decided to give up on my dream to become a physician.
Then, I woke up.
The hardest part about any big milestone or checkpoint in the pre-med life is waiting.
This month has been nothing but good to me. I started kickboxing, gotten back to the gym and dance, and I became the studio manager of Dancing for a Cause Headquarters Community Center. Most of all, I’m in the process of forgiving myself for neglecting my self-care needs for the 7 months leading up to my MCAT Test day.
Leading up to the score release date, however, I did have a couple of anxiety-filled days, where my mind would make up terrible scenarios of getting my MCAT score. Usually when I take exams, I would have an idea of how well or how badly I did. However, I had absolutely no idea whether I completely screwed up or if my hard work paid off with the MCAT. Nevertheless, I knew that if I didn’t like my score, it would only mean that I am not ready to move onto the next stage, that I have more to my journey than immediately applying to medical school, and that it’s okay.
I finally got my score, and I’ve never been so relieved in my life. I cried of tears of joy, wishing my great grandmother was still here to hear the news. I was proud of myself, but then I realized that this is not the biggest test I will take.
Surprisingly, Critical Analysis and Reading Skills and Psychology/Sociology were my two highest scores, followed by the other two sections, Chemistry/Physics and Biology/Biochemistry.
There is so much pressure on aspiring doctors. Whether you are still in your undergrad, in medical school, or in residency. We are surrounded by competition- people who would love to see us fail, and expectation- people who expect nothing but greatness from us. I have a hard time distinguishing between which is worse. With waiting and finally getting the score I wanted, I learned that there’s no point in worrying about what you can’t control. It’s all about the process, the journey, the climb up to the top. As long as you know in your heart that you truly gave it your all, there’s no sense in beating yourself up for the detours you are meant to travel.
Trust the process. Depending on our actions, we always end up right where we are meant to be, right when we are meant to be there.
Experience is not what happens to you; it is what you do with what happens to you.